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YouTuber Myka Stauffer’s Rehoming Controversy is Revisited in New Docuseries
When you choose to open your lifeto countless people online, expect a healthy portion of that crowd to let you know when they think you're doing life wrong.
Myka Stauffer and her husband James Stauffer found that out indevastating fashionwhen they shared in 2020 thattheir son Huxley was living with "a new forever family," three years afterthey adopted him from China and featured the emotional journey on their YouTube channel "The Stauffer Life."
The Ohio couple, who also share four biological children, broke the news in a video titled "An Update From Our Family"—an innocuous header that's now the title of a new docuseries revisiting the controversy as an example ofthe dark side of the family vlogging business.
While their channel has since been deleted, the series incorporates a number of the family's old videos, including footage from January 2017 showing Myka wondering what exactly their son's medical diagnosis would look like after a doctor advised them that he had significant issues. "But if anything," she said in the clip, "my child is not returnable."
E! News reached out to the Stauffers for comment ontheir story being revisited in the series, which screened June 6 at the Tribeca Film Festival, but has not yet heard back.
A release date for the series has not yet been announced, but this is why theStauffers made headlines four years ago:
Myka Stauffer / Youtube
Why did James Stauffer and Myka Stauffer rehome their adopted son Huxley?
"International adoption, sometimes there's unknowns and things that are not transparent on file," James said in the May 26, 2020, videothat shocked more than just their 717,000 subscribers inMay 2020."And once Huxley came home there was a lot more special needs that we weren't aware of and that we were not told."
After visiting numerous medical professionals,he explained, doctors ultimately advised that Huxley would benefit from being with a familybetter equipped to suit his "severe needs."
James said, "We've never wanted to be in this position. And we've been trying to get his needs met and help him out as much as possible...We truly love him."
Added Myka, "There's not an ounce of our body that doesn't love Huxley with all of our being."
With the help of an adoption agency, she said, Huxley had been placed with a new family that could give him the level of care he required.
"Do I feel like a failure as a mom? Like, 500 per cent," Myka continued, noting the agency "found somebody that they felt would be ultimately the best fit and he is thriving, he is very happy, he is doing very well and his new mommy has medical professional training and it is a very good fit."
And they were sharing this newspublicly, she noted, because"you guys have been there for us for so much and I want to fill you in on what's going on."
How did Maya Stauffer and James Stauffer rehome their adopted son?
The Stauffers were not met withan overwhelmingly warm, sympathetic response from nonjudgmental strangers on the Internet.
Not that some productive conversation didn't take place, the Stauffersnot alone when it came to having anadopted child re-adopted by another family, a process known as "rehoming."In 2018, according to The Atlantic,the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services estimated that of the roughly 135,000 adoptions finalized every year in the U.S., between 1 and 5 percentended up legally dissolved.
But a lot of online critics accused them of "returning" their child and otherwise not being very good people.
Myka had previously shared in an essay for The Bump that, when they brought then-2-year-old Huxley back to the U.S., he was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder level 3. She described him as "profoundly developmentally delayed."
In a September 2019 video, she said that Huxley had been inapplied behavior analysis therapy and was "doing so well," but there were subsequent social media updates that indicated Myka was struggling.
"The last couple days have been hard," she wrote in a February 2020 Instagram post. "I don't want to sugar coat anything...I wish autism and adoption trauma had a manual to direct you through it all."
Her last post featuring Huxley was from March 28, 2020."Last month was the hardest month I have ever had as a mama. And I'm still working through all of it," Myka wrote. "But instead of leading with my heart, I'm following yours."
On May 10, she posted thatit had been the "hardest Mother's Day I have ever had." Two weeks later, Myka and James shared that Huxley was no longer living with them.
Lawyers for the couplesaid in the wake of their viral announcement that the pair had made "the best decision" for Huxley.
"In coming to know our clients, we know they are a loving family and are very caring parents that would do anything for their children," the attorneys said in a May 27, 2020, statement to BuzzFeed News. "Since his adoption, they consulted with multiple professionals in the healthcare and educational arenas in order to provide Huxley with the best possible treatment and care."
"Over time," the statement continued, "the team of medical professionals advised our clients it might be best for Huxley to be placed with another family. This is devastating news for any parent."
Myka Stauffer/Instagram
How didMyka Stauffer respond to theadoption rehoming backlash?
Days later, Myka waded into the comments section under their initial video to further explain how Huxley's second adoption unfolded.
"We would never just give up a child with special needs, this is a personal matter to Hux," she replied to her critics. "It had nothing to do with he just had Autism. Multiple scary things happened inside the home towards our other children, and if these events happened with one of my biological kids, after all the help and after the behaviors we witnessed sadly we would have no other choice then to seek help and get their needs met."
She added that Huxley, in spending time with the other family, "constantly chose" them. He "showed tons of emotion to show us and let us know he wanted this," Myka wrote. "Huxley never had a say in his adoption, and he needed more help and also wanted this and we know that 100%."
But it wasn't long before Myka was stepping away from the public eye.
Her last Instagram post is a lengthy statement from June 24, 2020, apologizing for the "uproar" and taking responsibility for the hurt she had caused.
"This decision has caused so many people heart break and I'm sorry for letting down so manywomen that looked up to me as a mother," she wrote. She was also sorry"for not being able to tell more of my story from the beginning."
Myka further apologized for "being so naive" when they started the adoption process, admitting that she wasn't properly equipped to manage Huxley's needs.She didn't regret bringing him to the states, where he was getting the help he needed, Myka continued, but she acknowledgedthat, though he was "happier in his new home and doing better," he had experienced trauma.
"I wanted to help so bad I was willing to bring home any child that needed me," she wrote. "For this I was naïve, foolish, and arrogant. I wish so bad I would have been more prepared and done more. I wish the decision to disrupt never had to be made."
Myka Stauffer/Instagram
Myka also pushed back against some of theunkindest assessments of her and James, including that they'd basically adopted Huxley for the clicks.
"We did not adopt a child to gain wealth," she wrote.Some of their posts made money, but "every penny and much more went back into his care."
"And lastly I'm so sorry for letting you down," Myka added. "I also want to mention that moms need a safe place to ask for help when they are struggling. No questions asked. We love Huxley and know that this was the right decision for him and his future."
Were Myka Stauffer and James Stauffer ever under investigation for rehoming their adopted son?
A Delaware County Sheriff's Office spokeswomantold E! Newsin early June 2020 that the department had received "several inquiries regarding the welfare" of a local child who'd been put up for adoption and their investigation was "ongoing" to ensure the child's safety.
At the same time, the spokeswoman added, authorities were "confident that the appropriate process"was occurring as far as all parties were following adoption protocols, and thatboth parties were represented by lawyers"to ensure full compliance with the court process."
The investigation was closed by the end of the month, authorities concluding in a report obtained by BuzzFeed that Huxley was "safe with a new family."
Instagram / Myka Stauffer
Where are Myka Stauffer and James Stauffer now?
While the Stauffers have kept a much lower profile in recent years as far as their family is concerned,James' "Stauffer Garage" YouTube channel dedicated to cars is up and running with 1.3 million followers.
Keep reading to see more online influencers who ran into controversy:
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